The realities of the tumor are beginning to settle in. Elizabeth has started to worry about how this tumor is going to interrupt her studies, and she is afraid of not graduating with her class. Lurking in the back of the mind is also the fear that the tumor may come back, and yet, realistically she knows she cannot live in fear because fear can be debilitating. Discovering the tumor has altered all of our views of living, and we are different. While there is no going back to erase the seizure that led to the diagnosis of a brain tumor, we need to realize that this has changed our family and the way we see each other. We are, as Carroll wrote, different people than we were before the tumor.
For ten more days, we will try to fill time, hoping it goes much faster than the past ten days. Elizabeth is ready for the surgery, believing that her surgeon is going to remove most- if not all- of the tumor. We know time is going to stand still, and no matter how much we wish it to speed by, it will take its own sweet time. What we know for sure, though, is that we are different and there is no going back.